Some of my friends are the worst

If there is one thing that really chaps my ass it’s my self-centered friends. You know, I am over hear trying to live out a Lifetime Movie of a life, and these jerks think it’s ok to just drop me a text that says, “Marcus – check this band out…you will dig it”.  After 32 years of life on earth, finding new music that fits what you are looking for is hard.  It takes a lot of time and commitment to listening to average stuff.  You go down a lot of rabbit holes testing similar or frequently like artists, when you find one you like but they don’t always match up. When life gets busy, digging for new bands tends to drop off my radar completely.   Until last Tuesday when this lowlife, Alex text me.  He says listen to the Fugue State EP by Vulfpeck.   He even sends me an iTunes link in the text.

The part that really, really pisses me off is he was absolutely right.  I love it.  My first question back is how long have you known about this?  “Heard them on XM a few weeks ago” he responds. A COUPLE OF WEEKS! What kind of friend is this guy?!

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Serious transition.

Its been a really hard week.  While I love to joke around on here, life has been giving me a healthy dose of body shots. In the past week two things are really bending my mind:

  • Brisket’s pending move
  • A trip to see my grandmother for possibly the last time

Please understand this is an attempt at total honesty.  In my lifetime, as a middle class white male, this is one of the first times I have felt utterly out of control.  My entire life, when things didn’t work out, there was always a plan B or a way to “try again” and ultimately get whatever I wanted.  I will be the first to say it’s wrong that I have made it this long in life without feeling this sensation.  I understand how fortunate I have been.

Experiencing helplessness hurts but, I cannot help but stop and think about those who live this way a majority of their life.  Let’s ignore the cause for now.  It is a bizarre time of guilt and pain. I want to be upset and throw a fit.  I want to make a scene.  It is cliche, but my god, I have so much good in my life.  I would gladly give it all up to keep Brisket or my Grandma, but neither is an option.  Why do we let people around us live a lifetime feeling this way?  I am part of the problem and don’t have a solution.

I apologize for the dark tone here but I am working through uncharted territory in my mind.

 

One of a kind

My old lady is a good ole fashion mom.  Forget all the moving pieces and pending doom in our life, T decided first day of school presents for teachers are a “thing”.  Teachers also means day care workers.  So what does she do in the middle of the night?

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Thats right 12 gifts… Brisket’s 2 teachers, the 2 teachers next door to Brisket who sometime take care of her, the school chef,  3 front desk workers, the girl with yellow eyes, Jack’s 2 teachers, the girl who is there by herself in the early morning.

Yeah i mean if it really was a thing i had planned to pick up 2 or 3 Hot & Ready’s around noon and drop them off at the school.  Not T she has got this momma thing down and is currently brainstorming birthday party teams for 2, 3, and 4. Thanks to me 2 will be off the hook.

Another example of her going above and beyond was a few mornings ago. I am the nature morning person between the two of us and have been getting up with him between 5-6am every day for the past couple of months.  Well she can tell i am tired.  Jack woke up around 4:45am with a stinger in his diaper so we both got up to change him and try to get him back to sleep.  Cup of milk, couple good songs, T in the crib with him, and none of it was working.  She told me to “Go back to bed baby, i got it”.   Awesome.

I woke up again about 6 am and noticed the house was dead silent.  Maybe they went for a walk?  Whataburger?  The baby monitor was still on and sitting on my night stand so i picked it up.  I felt like i was in the middle of a horror movie.  The monitor was still pointing at his bed and it was empty.  I started to pan the camera left and it slowly began to give me a glimpse of the crime scene.  Every single item in the room which could be reached 3 ft and under was on the floor. Chairs flipped over, teepee in ruins, diaper pale upside down, and right in the middle of it all:

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My little all-star momma.  Out cold.  Good news is he had not killed her.  When i opened the door a little head emerged from behind the teepee and said “Eat Eat”.

Good times.

 

It was all a dream…

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Lets see here…We have had a pretty wild week.  Each kid’s CPS worker paid us a visit, our Hope Cottage case worker paid us a visit too, normal weekly visit with birth mom, a dentist appointment, and then our life too.

I felt like we were constantly coming and going from home and work to make this all happen the week was a blur.  This week Brisket’s CPS worker let us know her grandmothers home study was back and under review by her supervisor, Brisket’s attorney, and then the judge.  While we knew it had been in the works it didn’t seem like a big deal until this week.  Brisket has two half brothers and the oldest will start school this year.  The CPS worker anticipates everyone rushing to get the kids moved in with grandma by August 22nd in order to keep him from having to change schools this year.

While we don’t know any dates for certain it sounds and feels like our time with Brisket is quickly coming to a close.  The most common question or comment has always been “I just don’t know how you will give them back” well, we are about to find out.  We are no more prepared for this than the average person.  We have spent the past four months with this little girl like she was our own.  I don’t know what we will need, how it will work, or when it will happen but the day is drawing near.

If it wasn’t me i would tell any other foster family remember, this has been the game plan set in place by CPS from day one.  This is the best option for Brisket according to their years and years of experience.  She will most likely grow up with her brothers and grandma playing a large role in her life.  You have done your part.  You have served your community and have changed the life of someone who will likely never know about this phase of life.

Could we do it better?  It doesn’t matter.  Would she have access to more resources with us?  That’s not a factor.  Is the grandma able to care for 3 kids under 5 years old?  The Judge will decide.  These are all hard questions that really are not worth asking in this situation because in my opinion we have done our job.  This is what we signed up for.  Sure we both have fallen deeply in love with this little baby and thats ok.

I am sure there will be more depressing posts to come.

Jack update – he is now affectionately referring to his man parts as his “dingus”, which i love.  He has mastered the car seat back arch.  He seems to learn a new word each day.  While the vacuum started as “bac” it has become “bacuum”.  He continues to do very well in daycare and thrives with the daily routine and structure.

Stay tuned.  Thanks for your support.

Welcome to The Jungle

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We have a spare ticket to Guns and Roses, do you want it?   (long pause) Well…can i get back to you tomorrow?

Mental exercise = If the ticket says 8 pm then, The Cure will start at 8:15. Play 30-40 minutes.  Best case GNR takes the stage by 9:15 but more likely 9:30.  Jack eats dinner around 6:30, in the bath by 7, and laying down for bed between 7:45 and 8.  If i leave home at 8 i can get to AT&T Stadium by 8:45.  This might just work!

“Drinks and Dinner before?”  – i know better than to even ask.

“Why not?” – I have one wife and two kids.

This triggers mind bending conversation – would you rather have one wife and two kids or two wives and one kid?  There is no good answer.

As of today we still have 2 kids.  At this point i have no idea when that will change.

Brisket has got to be creeping up on 15 lbs.  She rolled over (tear) and is turning into a big ole fat baby.  She is smiling a lot and is using her hands to grab on to anything.  There is one concern we have with her.  That is, the amount of TV she watches.  At the age of 5 months her eyes are glued on the TV any time its on.  She will get fussy and melt down if you are standing in front of the TV.  She watches a ton of ID channel, soccer, and Good Morning America.

Now the other one could easily create enough content for his own blog.

Last week we came home from work at the same time and started unpacking from the day.  Jack was playing in the living room while we let the dogs out, set down bags, and changed out of our work clothes.  When i walked back into the living room he was standing in the middle of the room and looked like this:

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It wasn’t a Cuban he was smoking, it was a Chinese dog turd.  Our wonderful Shih Tzu had left a gift in the corner of the room which we did not see when we walked in.  I calmly walked over and took the cigar out of his mouth and didn’t say a word.

The toaster is loosing its place in the household appliance rankings.  The vacuum is quickly making its way up the ranks.  He started 3 weeks ago in complete life shattering fear of the vacuum and has progressed to needing to open the closet in the closet in the laundry room 3-4 times per day just to check and see if the vacuum is still in there.

We are having a blast with these two wild animals.